This is what I want in a guy that’s going to have the misfortune off having my heart. I say misfortune because it’s what everybody I’ve talked to, think. They say whoever I fall for, will be unlucky. Let’s see. I think it would be quite an ideal ordeal to start by first and foremost, telling you about the type of heart you will be dealing with. Here goes…
Fragile. Yes. Not the typical fragile that your mama has told you about. The “I do not want to have myself exposed” one. Again for the fear of exploitation. I live behind the high walls of coldness. I seek solace in brutality and act like I could not feel any pain even if it was inflicted in my bowel. That is how fragile I am. I use ‘bravery’ as protection from having my heart played. I have the tough act going. Just so no one would know exactly how meek I am. Everything else follows.
You mister, should have superpowers. Yes. You should be the person who will have my naked soul. For breakfast lunch and supper. All day. All your life. That is such a hidden statement but holds the whole truth and I’m glad you understood it. If you didn’t then that’s good. You are exactly what I am not looking for.
Please play with my brain. I love mind games. Be the most challenging quiz I have to answer. Confuse me. No, I’m not talking about academics. You can cum laude all your modules but that is just the cherry on top of a very large cake. No it’s not a forbidden element, it’s just not over glorified in my books. Be mysterious, very hidden but also be raw. Have all your cards on the table. Everything. Remember that you are dealing with a very unsure human who is still in a cloud of thoughts on whether or not she should open up. Be a magician. An illusionist. Insanity. Be imperfect. Have funny and embarrassing flaws. Have sad and heart breaking moments. Be very unconfident and be absolutely unapologetic about that please!!! Have a smart mouth. Don’t just run like a tap because that is very unattractive sir, trust me.
Be free. Be yourself. Open up. If you have missed anything mentioned above but believe that you have got what it takes, then I say go ahead and make my day. Actually, screw what I’ve written above, yes forget about it. Listen. Let’s talk for hours. Have a conversation. A bilateral one. A constructive one. I don’t usually have those because either the person will run like a tap. Or I will. or neither of us will. The vibes get hyper. I’ve never had a smooth conversation; they either have to be rocky or silent.
If you are going to have to practise for this one, then forget it. It must come naturally. If it happens. I would have to tell my mother ‘about a guy’.