This is much more like calling a doctor to tell them about the new disease you have just discovered on yourself by yourself.
Just today I was looking at yet another ‘declined letter’ from a University I had applied to earlier this year and to my surprise, it was no longer a motivation to study harder at all. See, the first few letters always consoled and comforted me because they concluded with ‘your application will be reassessed when the final Grade 12 results become available’.
But what does that really mean huh? Karabo we are totally sorry to inform you that your marks are way below our minimum requirements and well there are millions and billions of your counterparts who performed way better than you and have already been provisionally accepted. You need to work your butt off and still there is really no way we will accommodate you because well it will be kind of full then don’t you think?
It is really difficult for a student from a public school who is not encouraged at all. Seeing your fellow counterparts travel in buses, cars and taxis to schools in towns and they come back twanging and twirling their tongues and talking about things you do not even dream about experiencing. This is not by mentality or laziness that we go through this, it is due to continuing pass rates which are sky high, our friends’ flashy badges and uniforms when we do not even own much, and the nasty attitude that shelters within each and every public student. We have got it all figured out, yes us, the minor, intellectually inferior black kids from schools that will never produce 100% pass rates, or a mere 7 distinctions from one of the learners.
We have rooted within us the indoctrination which is the most dangerous leading factor to our failure. We have tattooed on our hearts the destructive tendencies that come with our circumstances and decided to focus on them solely, because well, they are all we see when we look inside.
Mathematics and Science, the Key to being someone in this world, are the most feared and honored subjects any learner could ever succumb to. In my school, the science students are the ‘clever’ ones who bring out the worst results each and every year. As a commerce student tackling Mathematics, my love for Economics and wish to become an Economist made me realize that dreams are nothing without facts.
I knew that I am bad at mathematics, probably the worst in my class, but I AM also the best at Economics, Hell I speak Economic Science. Macro, Micro, Pursuits and Contemporary Economic Issues, ask me anything…
And I am not even adequate at Mathematics, the General subject needed to conquer my quest and come out triumphant. Contradictory? Ironic? Call it whatever you want, my dreams are fading and I am hopelessly gazing…
My Name Is Karabo Kgaphola.